I was reading the bible about faith (Heb 11), holiness (1 Pet 1), and love (1 Cor 13). I was thinking very hard about how it is possible to meet all those standards at the same time. Even though I spent a long time praying and bible-reading, it feels very difficult. This reminds me of Romans 7:
We know that the law is spiritual; but I am unspiritual, sold as a slave to sin. I do not understand what I do. For what I want to do I do not do, but what I hate I do. And if I do what I do not want to do, I agree that the law is good. As it is, it is no longer I myself who do it, but it is sin living in me. For I know that good itself does not dwell in me, that is, in my sinful nature. For I have the desire to do what is good, but I cannot carry it out. For I do not do the good I want to do, but the evil I do not want to do—this I keep on doing. Now if I do what I do not want to do, it is no longer I who do it, but it is sin living in me that does it. - Rom 7:14-20 (NIV)
Even tough I know that theoretically the answer lies on Romans 8, I was struggling very hard. It feels like I am 'beating myself' because I keep failing. I realized that only God can change me:
I will put my law in their minds and write it on their hearts. - Jer 31:33b (NIV)
I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit in you. - Eze 36:27a (NIV)
If this struggle happens to you, keep praying, keep asking God to change you, and believe that this is possible. God knows how and when to change your heart. He will never ignore a thirsty heart:
Let anyone who is thirsty come to me and drink. Whoever believes in me, as Scripture has said, rivers of living water will flow from within them. - John 7:37b-38 & Heb 8:10b (NIV)
Let the one who is thirsty come; and let the one who wishes take the free gift of the water of life. - Rev 22:17b (NIV)
I believe that flows of living water (Holy Spirit) will able to change our hearts.
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